The Toy Conspiracy

Full of Hot Air or Toy Conspiracy?
My childhood was pretty awesome. Not to sound superficial, but it was my toys that made my adolescence great.  If it weren’t for those plastic figurines, I would have never developed an imagination; and without my imagination, let’s face it, I would be a bore.  I’d be blogging about things like sweaters or politics: “Did you see the cross-stitch job Merkel wore at the G7 summit? Pl-ease.” It would be awful.
The merchandise line that dominated play time in the Hover household was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Two words: Pizza Shooter.  A motorized device that shot out plastic discs in order to defeat the Foot Clan and, occasionally, my younger sisters. IT doesn’t get any better than that. I had almost every TMNT toy…almost. *Cue conspiracy music* What do you mean almost? After years of talking with friends about TMNT toys one particular vehicle continues to be shrouded in mystery. For you see, no one I’ve ever talked to has actually owned one, but inevitably knew someone growing up who did.  How is this possible? What is the mystery behind….The Turtle Blimp?

TMNT Turtle Blimp

Granted, how many times did the reptile gang really need an aerial assault? Perhaps once to close the portal to Dimension X from above, and maybe a couple of flights to knock Baxter Stockman out of commission (the Fly bad-guy). How is it that no one I’ve talked to actually owned the Turtle Blimp in the early 1990s? And yet, somehow, we all had one friend who owned one?  Was there a shortage of the toy?  Was there a limited number sold? Was a drug smuggling ring uncovered in 1988 causing multiple crates carrying the toy to be impounded? Did I simply not ask enough people? So many questions with so few answers.
There is not even a mention of this mystery on Turtlepedia (Yeah, it’s a real site). When I brought up the topic on a TMNT Toy Forum I was immediately kicked off the web. Am I getting to close to the truth? Or did my internet payment this month bounce? I say both!

TURTLE BLIMBAm I jealous of those who were able to drop pizza bombs from 4ft high? At age 5, you bet. Now, it looks like the shittiest toy ever. It’s an impractical balloon with a plastic trigger. The logical conclusion must be most parents opted out of buying this crappy toy. Hell, if I wanted to purchase my child’s happiness and a choice between the Blimp or the Technodrom, 9 times out of 10 would go with the Technodrom.

Technodrom Turtles Van

Did you own a Turtle Blimp?   Are you like me and just had a childhood friend that gloated about it? Curious to see how far this theory goes.